If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize