A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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