I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize