and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
