im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
