I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
