Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
my being single is dangerous.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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