Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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