I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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