I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
