When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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