My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
