I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
