You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
