You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
