he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
