He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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