I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
