So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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