I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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