glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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