Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
