a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
