What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
do herpes really smell.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
