im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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