Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
