There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
