2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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