thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
