u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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