Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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