There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
there is another microwave in the elevator.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
