And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
