six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
