My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
