either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
