Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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