the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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