I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
