Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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