we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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