Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
