went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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