Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
