my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
