I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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