I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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