I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
