is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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