Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
