Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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