Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
