Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I want her autograph on my taint
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
