I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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