just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
