The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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