I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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