i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
