Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
