we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
