I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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