Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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