You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
