she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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